A Bartered Honour
Book format: An electronic version of a printed book that can be read on a computer or handheld device designed specifically for this purpose.
Publisher: Date:8/4/2009 - General Books LLC
By: Robert Harborough Sherard
Excerpt from book: CHAPTER HI. CHARLES GOES " DOWN." Who has not experienced how widely different an aspect we take of a plan or an action in the evening and the next morning? How enthusiastically we go to bed, and how self-derisively we get up. How, when we pulled our night-caps over our ears, what deep and clever plans they seemed to cover, and how, when we pulled them off, we seemed to cast the bright visions into the corner with them. Again, who has not felt that morning brings repentance, remorse, and self- reproach, and that, what the evening before condoned, the fresh, unsophisticated morning holds up in the worst light, and that the shallow excuses we proposed to ourselves vanish before the light of day as if ashamed of its brightness ? And also, with sorrow and affliction, how heavily they hang upon us in our waking moments, and the ugly nightmare that has made our sleep restless, and haunted us the weary night throughout, does not leave us, like other evil dreams, as soon as we open our weary,unrefreshed eyelids,but gathers strength and personifies itself into a horrible reality. The malefactor, the felon doomed to pay with bis life the forfeit of cruel deeds, can never feel the horrors of his position as strongly as when he wakes andfirst remembers what he has done, where he is, and what is before him. Men who, on the previous evening, have stoutly denied their guilt, have the next morning poured forth their bitter confessions, under the painful and absolute feeling of utter weakness. To Benson, when he awoke on the following morning, life seemed to hold out but bitter prospects. Ruin, poverty, and degradation, partly brought about by the cruel fault of others and partly by his own folly, seemed to lie before him. Eestless dreamer that he knew himself to be, he feared to grapple ...